wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
