Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
