How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
