Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
