im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
