Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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