? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
