He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
