Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
