I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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