he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
