I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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