you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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