is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
