is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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