i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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