I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
