What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
