Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
