I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize