Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
