It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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