Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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