no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
