I want to stick my p in your. b.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
no, he came in my armpit
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
