Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
