I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
