Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
