Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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