Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
