that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
