Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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