Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
