come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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