I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
