i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
