I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
do herpes really smell.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
