Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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