ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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