do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
