i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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