Whod you bang
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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