Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
