Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just tell him i said nine months
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pants are for mortals
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
