got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
