what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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