Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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