just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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