If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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