No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
