I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
